As I sat reading last night, I came across a phrase that jumped off the page as they sometimes do. It was in a book titled Thinking Like the Universe by Pir Vilayat Inayat Kahn and a reference to light and a Sufi smiling forehead that caught my attention. Light being the bridge between what is known and unknown and a smiling forehead being this same “light” emanating outward. A complete manifestation of  energy reflecting out into the world with a calm and loving aura. Glorious to envision and a rarity to see and experience.

 

Light has always been a close friend of mine.  When I close my eyes I often see flashes of light that appear like a laser light show behind my eyelids. As a young adult I practiced shielding myself with light when I was fearful and often sent light to others in need of support. I am also one that can slip in and out of that space between my inner light and the outer world with a certain level of ease.  This never requires meditation or a quieting of the mind and strangely I can create this shift at will. This movement between two energetic spaces has confused me in the past. With no reference to what was happening I felt odd and out of step, a very disorientating feeling.

 

“It is tragic how few people ever ‘possess their souls’ before they die… Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation…”

-Oscar Wilde

 

As I have become more familiar with this shift, I have come to enjoy the moments of solitude when I slip effortlessly into this realm that has the vibration of pure and unconditional love. After reading about the Sufi smiling forehead it became clear that my practice moving forward should include emanating this light and energy outward rather than containing it internally. This will certainly be difficult to master and I suspect representative of a lifetime of work in culmination. As an introspective and private person, I am aware that I may appear closed off to the outside world at times. This is a physical manifestation of deep thinking rather than aloofness. I often struggle with this dichotomy, the way I wish to project self out to the world and the way I actually do.  

 

“Below what we think we are, we are something else,

we are almost anything”.

D.H.Lawrence

 

One of my greatest wishes is to be an open and loving vessel to all that I encounter, requiring me to put down my protective walls and let my “smiling forehead” be seen. With people that I am completely comfortable with I am more willing to share this inner light without reservation. It is only in times of fear, confusion or anxiety that I hold my light close as a mother would a child. During moments when I interact and dance with this light, it is pure ecstasy. My external self becomes nonexistent and for just that moment I am free, weightless and shining brightly. The heat is warming but does not burn and the air is reminiscent of a deep and fulfilling sigh.

 

As I have journeyed down this path of mysticism, I find myself slipping into this space more often and not wanting to leave. Outside distractions are just that, distractions. I find the trivialities of life a nuisance and want nothing more than to find a way to allow myself to dance on the boundaries of these two spaces freely and without hesitation. For this reason it has become more important to find a way to share this experience with those around me rather than risk becoming too egocentric  or lost in the practice. I am hopeful that with practice, my “smiling forehead” will enter a room before me, filling the space with light and creating an environment of pure love and joyful acceptance.