Home is Where the Heart Is
The real voyage of discovery consists not in
seeking new landscapes but in having new
eyes.
—Marcel Proust
Restlessness is like an itch that can’t be scratched. I have felt the intensity of this irritation many times in my life. Usually it is expressed as a deep desire to run, change scenery, job and relationships. I naturally have a gypsy spirit and thrive on the challenge of metamorphosis, strange given my intense dislike of change. Ask anyone and they will tell you I am a true homebody. I like nothing more than a long relaxing day nesting in my own space and this apparent contradiction describes me in a nutshell. I waffle between two separate ends of a spectrum and quite literally live in the gray.
Over time, I have come to understand that it is not the geographic location in which I live, or the roof over my head that creates a stabilizing force. It is the people, my family and loved ones that fill whatever space I inhabit with loving intention. As such, I have become especially adept at creating a loving “home” wherever I may be. I have owned homes, rented, lived with family, just about every living situation possible. In each space I have inhabited, I do not ever recall a desire for anything beyond a warm blanket, food, and my loved ones to put my arms around. My ability to create a welcoming environment in a multitude of spaces has served me well. In addition, having been married for many years to an individual that was constantly on the run, craving new places in order to resolve old conflicts, I have found peace in remaining still for the moment.
Sea Fever
I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a gray mist on the sea’s face, and a gray dawn breaking.
I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.
I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull’s way and the whale’s way, where the wind’s like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.
—John Masefield
Being well into midlife, my heart’s longing for adventure has settled a bit as I have discovered new ways to explore life without seeking drastic change. I have learned that I can act as a home base for others as they continue to explore the world, intrepid travelers they may be. The world may be swirling around them with so many unknowns, but the awareness that I am there as a constant can act as a reassuring and stabilizing force.
So how does one quench a constant thirst for adventure? A restless spirit never goes away, it is just quieted by life’s demands. My way of addressing this has been to focus this energy on topics that I am passionate about. I find satisfaction in guiding the next generation in my vocation. I feel resounding joy welcoming in my children’s extended circle of friends and I read voraciously, digesting new ideas and world views. All of these vehicles for exploration are representative of my restless spirit living and thriving out in the world.
“A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Everything I am searching for is within me and going on the journey of 1000 miles will do nothing for my growth when the ultimate adventure resides within. Maybe the challenge in life is to learn to see the opportunities for growth right under our nose, often the most difficult to recognize as they are far too familiar to draw attention. In this instance, moving becomes a distraction, a temporary change of scenery that does not address any core issues. If I am lonely, sad or have lost my passion in life, it is a good possibility that I will still feel all these same emotions upon relocation. You see, it is not place that creates stability, it is self. For all the same reasons I was able to create a home wherever my heart was, I would not find the answers I am seeking simply by a change in scenery.
Understand that restlessness is an energy that can be directed in many ways. Try to resist the urge to run and look for more creative opportunities in your own backyard. A restless heart is a explorative and expansive heart. Engage your restless heart in the here and now rather than on future possibilities that may or may not come to past. Feed your spirit with circumstances that engage you completely: mind, body and soul. Finally, continue to allow your heart to speak no matter the location in which you reside.