Mystic Cookie

I am an eternal optimist.  I look for the best in people; always hope for a good outcome and place trust in people before it is earned. I do this freely, with the understanding that things may not go as I would hope.  I am well aware of the potential outcomes of such optimism and trust, yet I choose to continue life in this way.  Because of this perpetual display of faith and comfort in living in the unknown, I have been called naive more times than I can count.

 

Perhaps I can say that I am a bit astute, that I can adapt to circumstances, but it is also true that I am a bit naive. Yes, but the best summary, the one that comes more from the inside and I feel most true is this: I am a sinner whom the Lord has looked upon.

Pope Francis

 

Does this bother me? Yes, to some degree it does.  Each time I hear it I cringe.  I know it is a misjudgment and a gross simplification of who I am and how I approach the world. Why then does it keep coming up? My initial thought is that I tend to withhold so much of my very complex thought process, in an effort to find a comfortable cadence to all interactions with others.  I shy away from debate and confrontation and have never felt the need to push “my ideas” onto others even when they do not return the favor. This may add to an external appearance of naivety or lack of understanding of a subject.  

 

I think a lot of times we don’t pay enough attention to people with a positive attitude because we assume they are naive or stupid or unschooled.

-Amy Adams

 

Those that take the time to really get to know me soon find out that I have so many layers of understanding that I can view the same subject with multiple lenses.  This revelation either dumbfounds them or ends our banter when they realize that there is no “winning” a debate with me.  I do not believe in a winning or losing result. I live in the gray, always.

In mysticism, part of the process is living the mystery. Living in the questions and not needing the constant back and forth found in a search for answers. It is in this living of the question that we ultimately find ourselves living towards an answer, naturally. This is not being naive, this is being patient and believing that all will be known in due time. Sometimes when someone forces their opinion on me in an effort to prompt a debate, I have to tell myself to breath in and out, slowly and deliberately.  After all, I have no higher calling to find the answers others are seeking, that is their path.  If they want to label my laid back and optimistic approach naive, than so be it.

 

“One should use common words to say uncommon things”

Arthur Schopenhauer

 

In the end, I know this evaluation comes from a place of uncertainty from the other.  Their need to label me is a side effect of a need to make sense of things that are meant to remain unknown. I remember this each and every time I am called naive and try to send the offender loving patience. Yes, it stings a bit. That is my ego not liking it when someone misrepresents me in such an egregious way.  My task is to learn to let it go. I know I live in the mystery, and I am at peace with that.  When all is said and done, it simply does not matter what others think.