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Tag: Nature mysticism

The Armor We Wear

The Armor We Wear

 

 

 

That Which I Cannot Name

There you are, 

Behind the eternal veil

Waiting for an invitation 

To my dinner table

 

Patiently you wait

Watching the mistakes

We have made,

I have made

 

The winds of change

Dance with this fabric

Calling out to me

Asking for my attention

 

Distraction makes me blind

All the many obligations

Pulling me away

From the beauty of this veil

 

A faint softness is

Viewed from afar

Teasing my senses with,

What can be, what should be

 

I cannot name you

But do not need to

You are the eternal gateway

To the between, to everything

 

When I get lost in myself

Forget my direction, lose my way

You whisper in the wind

“I am with you”

 

The veil dances into my heart

Filling a longing for this softness

Lighting up the gateway

Into the next

-Lavinia

 

 

 

Yesterday, heart brimming with a slurry of emotions from the collective grief of our times, I walked on the beach and attempted to calm my weary heart. In this moment we must all stop the rhetoric and admit we all know far less than we think we do. The answers we seek are not readily apparent and the need is great.

 

One image I received while walking was of layers of armor shedding as if a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. We all have armor whether we admit to it or not. These layers have been added to the suit of protection we wear, sewn over many years, hiding our vulnerabilities.

 

This armor is complex. Sewn into its coils are race, culture, appearance, orientation, religion, profession, wealth and many other labels. We walk around every day with a tribal mentality thinking it protects us from ourselves. Our wounds and insecurities are often the driving force behind these hardline opinions and core values.  

 

As a student of the human condition, it fascinates me how we cling to this armor, no matter the contradictions, in a colossal effort to avoid facing our wounds. We have talking points and biases that permeate everything we do and say. Over time, it becomes more difficult to hear the quiet voice of spirit over a chorus of societal expectations and unbridled tribalism. If one ventures too far from their base, a disapproving slap on the wrist is given rather than shared dialogue in respectful tones.

 

Yesterday while walking, I found myself completely rejecting this norm. No longer wishing to wear false armor, I rejected the notion we all need protection from our most sensitive self. I am no longer willing to hide behind the “group” whether it be family, community or nation. I am no longer willing to blindly accept the terms of this social contract.

 

Great courage is required when standing up against the group and saying “NO”.  Many of you may have already felt this same call and experienced difficult conversations with your tribe. Let me lend you strength in saying it is OKAY to choose a different way. By choosing to approach life outside of the group, you are not being rebellious. You are living on your own terms, without the constant need for validation from the whole.

 

Shedding false armor can be liberating, as if a heavy weight has been lifted from our shoulders, allowing us to soar as is meant to be. Failure is quite possible, never fear failure. Failure teaches us more about living than success. It is in the moments of despair, after falling short time and time again that resilience is forged. Like iron to the fire, we use the unrelenting heat of discomfort to forge beauty from a blank slate. It takes many years of practice to be skilled at reinvention of self. It also takes courage in facing the heat of the flames, burning our skin as we return once again to build something out of nothing.

 

On the eve of what is to be a powerful summer solstice, with a new moon solar eclipse occurring on the Global Axis point of the universe, commit to bravely facing this fire each day. This is an awakening and we are all feeling the call and need for change. The new is waiting, patiently. A new way of being, a new way of viewing the world. 

 

Reinvention does not have to be scary; it can be fun! Imagine a blank page in which you are free to write your story in your own words, not the words of others. Simply begin with the first sentence and the rest of your story will unfold as it should. The universe is demanding us all to begin. Pick up a pen and change your story. Write about a world that is more equitable, loving and compassionate. A world where we care for the least of us without worrying about the bottom line. A world in which poverty and discrimination do not exist. 

 

If you find yourself saying this sounds utopian and therefore impossible, sit in silence for a moment with this thought. Is this statement your armor speaking?  Your fear? Breathe in and out and allow the feeling of discomfort and heat to wash over you. Become friends with this feeling and welcome it into your life. The time is now. Let us all welcome our most sensitive self to the table, lovingly wrapping our arms around our agitation and uncertainty. Feeling our heartbeat along with every other living thing. Breathe in, breathe out. Smile.

 

 

If Only I Could Fly

If Only I Could Fly

I am a professional sky watcher. It is one of the few times I can be seen just standing still, looking up with a smile on my face. I am like a joyful child when I see a skyscape that is breathtaking and have been this way for as long as I can remember. I was definitely the child that would roll down the grassy hill and once at the bottom stare at the sky, completely enthralled with the beauty of it all. I was also known to lie in a field of dandelions making dandelion chains all the while watching the clouds dance and guessing the shapes as they passed by. As a child of the seventies this may sound familiar, possessing a bohemian sensibility retrospect of that generation. For me, this obsession has withstood the test of time only further cementing my passion for the sky.

 

Sky watching has an expansive feeling to it. When looking up, one gets a sense of the vastness of our world, this planet and the universe. Nothing puts things in perspective more quickly than a knowing of natural order.  We are everything, yet we are nothing. Our energy is a part of all that we see, the spirit is free, unrestricted and boundless. Yet this world, with its limitations, obligations and gravity weighs us done in many ways.

 

There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky; there is one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul.

~Victor Hugo

 

As a young girl, I used to dream about flying up to the top of a mountain just to be closer to the sky, the moon, the sun and the stars.  It was a feeling of utter weightlessness, a disconnection from the gravity of the ground. I would stretch and stand up on my toes reaching for the sky and in my dream could feel myself touching this other dimension. It was the most peaceful feeling I can recall. As silly as it may sound, I often think about what it would feel like to be a bird, to be able to fly in the wind, above the clouds. I envy that experience, but strangely enough I do not enjoy being in planes. That feels constricted to me.

 

The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Being up high also acts as a visual representation of a longer journey and a metaphor for overcoming difficulties along the way. Once at the top of a large hill and upon looking down, the sense of accomplishment is palpable.  The distance is so massive, so huge that it is difficult not to feel strong and capable given where the journey began below. Maybe this is why people take this to extremes by climbing large mountains. Thankfully, I have a knowing that I do not need to climb the tallest mountain in order to discover the greatest truth, it is with me all along.

 

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

~e.e. cummings

 

From a spiritual perspective, nature has a way of revealing the interconnectivity of the spirit world to all else. Think Pocahontas and the “Colors of the Wind” song. It is tangible when energies connect. I have been known to cry when hiking and on the same token, laugh. My emotions brew right at the surface and react to my surroundings. Nature can be viewed as a pathway to experiential mysticism, and in my case I have found this to be true. Walking, watching the sky, listening to the waves hit the beach and feeling the breeze on my face are all ways in which I feel spirit. It is the most expansive and loving feeling while at the same time protective and embracing. I find it very difficult to find words that do this experience justice. Maybe that it the whole point. I have no need to put words to this feeling, it just is. Find your form of sky watching.  Call upon it when in need of peace, tranquility and most importantly when feeling a disconnect from spirit. Take some time to remember where you stand in relation to all else, it is really quite remarkable.