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The Full Moon Speaks and I Listen

The Full Moon Speaks and I Listen

Art- Jonathan Solter

 

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don’t go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don’t go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the door sill

Where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.

Don’t go back to sleep.

-Rumi

 

Looking out the window, all I see is goodbyes. A sense of lingering lasts being rustled away by uncertain firsts. Being well familiar with long goodbyes, the feeling is still unwelcome. The winds of change have been a constant, yet more like turbulent storms instead of gentle breezes. Reinvention is a dear friend; the kind you wish would not stop by unannounced. It is terribly difficult to only see unknowns, a blank canvas.

 

On the eve of yet another full moon, I have agreed to step out of the life I know and into the unknown. Never one to do things small, the looming storm clouds of change are rumbling above. As with any electrically charged storm, I feel the hair standing up on my arm alerting me to pay attention. “Listen to the moon speak”, it says.

 

My work life is shifting with a six month creative leave. What a blessing it is to be able to move at my own speed, no rushing from one fire to the next. Stepping onto this blank canvas requires letting go of everything I know and facing the storm head on. I must leave my overpriced townhome, pack up my belongings and live like a nomad for a while. As a Cancer and homebody, this is excruciating. My home is my sanctuary and I cling to it always. It is no mystery that this move is taking place on a full moon, in the month of July and with a bevy of celestial shenanigans happening at the moment.

 

Dwell as near as possible to the channel

in which your life flows.

Henry David Thoreau

 

This shift also calls for faith. Financial security, while a falsehood, has always been something I struggle with. Living in relative poverty for so long, it is difficult to let go of an imagined security blanket. Frightfulness is the only word that comes to mind. Once again, the full moon is speaking. A profound letting go is required with the belief that all will be well. This is not just a letting go of material items, but emotional wounds, fears and insecurities. All WILL be well. It will be stormy for a while, but the sun will shine again.

 

My children are also on the move with my daughter moving with her long term boyfriend and my son in a beautiful relationship and moving forward with his life goals. Once again the full moon speaks. No matter where I travel, I carry them in my heart. Love does not require being in close proximity, love is universal and boundless. I am so very proud of how they have grown into such beautiful souls. It is time to let go of the need to “be close by” and fly.

 

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

Begin it now.

—Goethe

 

Finally, Dylan and I have agreed to take this journey together. An unsigned contract with two souls entwined. We offer support for one another and are willing to stand in the middle of the storm, holding each other tightly. Each with our own scars, our own work to do; but together we are stronger. As Goethe writes, “Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” Dylan, we must be bold now. We must face everything with an open heart and mind and be gentle with each other’s wounds. We must listen to the full moon speak and keep stepping out into the stormy winds of change. It is only when facing the storm that one is blessed with the rays of light shining through the clouds. We have many sunrises in our future and that is something beautiful to look forward too.

 

Let your full moon speak and choose to listen. The moon is wise, intuitive and ethereal. Bath in the light and be quite. What does it call you to do? Is it time to take that leap of faith?  Listen and believe all will be well. Face the winds of change with a brave heart and a calm mind. 

 

Finding My Way Home

Finding My Way Home

 

“This magnificent refuge is inside you. Enter. Shatter the darkness that shrouds the doorway. Step around the poisonous vipers that slither at your feet, attempting to throw you off your course. Be bold. Be humble. Put away the incense and forget the incantations they taught you. Ask no permission from the authorities. Slip away. Close your eyes and follow your breath to the still place that leads to the invisible path that leads you home.”

― Mirabai Starr, The Interior Castle

 

Frustrated by disparity between the self-help movement, religions that profess acceptance and actual practice, I find myself in the gray once again.  People are imperfect, yet it baffles me when those that profess to be pious judge with utter abandon. It is for this very reason I made the personal decision to explore all practices but claim none. Each has something to offer along with something that speaks directly to me. In my view, if everyone practiced love as a core belief, judgment would be counter to any belief.

 

In this way, reading the words of the mystics has offered a specific calmness in my life. I share their depth of feeling as well as a misfit sensibility demonstrated by disconnect with the progression of others. Everyone else may be thinking about a to-do list or how to capture success while I am in that quiet place of serenity and solitude dancing with my thoughts. No one seems to notice, I make no outward appearance to this fact. I slip in and out of this realm with a practiced ease, questioning everything.

 

Of the many questions I ponder, one remains. Why is it that so many faiths lay down strict rules of engagement prescribing how one should experience the Divine? Who has the authority to tell me how to experience what should be freely given.  It is important to allow room for spiritual discovery in the way that speaks to one as an individual. No organization, ideology or otherwise can hold weight over this self-discovery. Mysticism allows for this space, a space to experience spirit in a personal way, a space between all else.

 

“If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another.”

― Gautama Buddha

 

There are many ways to the same end. The faithful practitioner may come to the same conclusions as one that has spent a lifetime of immersion in mystic thought, empowering the individual experience over the group. No one-way is the only way; I refuse to accept that premise. Mirabai Starr speaks to this beautifully with, “Be bold. Be humble. Put away the incense and forget the incantations they taught you. Ask no permission from the authorities. Slip away.” Another soul that feels as I do!

 

Never second-guess your path. It is unique to you and therefore requires no further scrutiny from others. Be bold yet humble, just as Ms. Starr states. Take chances, but ask questions of yourself. Face your fears and do so with a loving heart. Forging your own way does not require announcement or explanation. Quiet the voices and silence your mind. Trust in your ability to discern the truth from all else. Take as many detours as needed, approaching all misfortune with patience and love. Find your way home.

 

Faith in the Unknown

Faith in the Unknown

Richard Rohr

 

I have had many wonderful mentors in my life, true examples of living a soulful and loving life. They come from all different areas of practice: Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Taoism and undeclared spirituality.  As different as this eclectic group of people appears, they all share one thing in common. That is, they all are comfortable sitting in the unknown, do not profess to understand all and have no need for such understanding. They are able to recite verse and speak on their form of spiritual practice quite fluidly, while still embracing the mysteries of life that require imagination and faith.  I define people such as those in this group mystics in their truest form. They come together in a shared understanding that all is not as clear and straightforward as one would like it to be.

There is true beauty in this space. The possibilities are wondrous and do not reflect a lack of direction or act as a measure of one’s faith.  What does faith mean anyway?  Merriam-Webster lists the definitions of faith as, “allegiance to duty or a person, loyalty, sincerity of intentions, firm belief in something for which there is no proof and complete trust” Using the word faith or faithful does not imply a knowing or complete understanding of whatever it is that we are applying the word to.  It simply means a choice to believe without concrete proof. I especially like Richard Rohr’s statement on this.

 

“My scientist friends have come up with things like ‘principles of uncertainty’ and dark holes. They’re willing to live inside imagined hypotheses and theories. But many religious folks insist on answers that are always true. We love closure, resolution and clarity, while thinking that we are people of ‘faith’! How strange that the very word ‘faith’ has come to mean its exact opposite.”

Richard Rohr

 

Those of us who have dabbled in the sciences understand this to be true. Science is all about formulating a hypothesis with the understanding that others will do everything in their power to disprove the hypothesis. If in the end it still stands, the hypothesis is deemed to be “true” until the time when it can be disproven. Is this not the exact same process that a faithful practitioner will work through? Faith is a constant journey, not a destination. In my humble opinion it is a practice. Choosing to demonstrate faith for the unknown is a tenant of spirituality, along with the steadfast belief in something greater than oneself.

The answers we seek will never be shown to us definitively as long as we inhabit our human bodies.  I believe that our souls know the truths that we so deeply want to claim, yet allow for exploration as a way to deepen our human experience. The only possible way forward is to become comfortable with the unknown. The restless and questioning heart that constantly looks for further mysteries and experiences.

It takes a great deal of courage to live in this way. Much will be said about the person who practices faithfully among others who remain fearful of the unknown. They will try and disprove your hypothesis, as they should. It is healthy to be questioned and does not imply a lack of courage or resolve. One must constantly ask the heart and mind the questions that will ultimately bring one closer to the soul, our true self. For it is not only in the asking of the questions, but in the ability to sit comfortably in the depths of this place steadfast. Striving for better connection to that which we cannot be sure exists without faith. It is a deeply troubling process but enormously rewarding at the same time. It is the paradox of life once again upon us. Do you feel it?

 

“Courage is found in unlikely places.”

J.R.R Tolkien