In today’s world we have become overly obsessed with others lives, becoming voyeurs and observes rather than participators.  Social network keeps us connected in ways unknown ten years ago and allows for constant insight into others daily goings on.  These snapshots into another’s world are highly edited and demonstrate only a chosen few moments in what is probably a day much like our own. Work, family, sleep, repeat. In reality we have become less connected on a spiritual level and have forgotten what needs attention in our own world.

 

“If each of us sweeps in front of our own steps, the whole world will be clean.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Parents used to tell us to mind our own business and this adage still holds true today. When we become more concerned with another’s life, we neglect our own. We begin to live in a false world with no connection to reality.  The real talk is that everyone, and I mean everyone has had bad stuff happen to them. No one is immune to challenges even if they appear happier than a kid at Christmas in their Instagram photos. I am sure they worry about their body, their finances, if they are loved or lovable, what direction they want to go in life, what their friends think of them…. the list goes on. The human condition does not discriminate. No one gets out of here alive.

For this reason, Goethe’s piece speaks to me. He points out that we should not be collecting the spoils of hard work or “gathering the ripe gold ears” without having watering the crops with our tears.

 

We must not hope to be mowers, And to gather the ripe gold ears, Unless we have first been sowers And water the furrows with tears. It is not just as we take it, This mystical world of ours, Lifes field will yield as we make it A harvest of thorns or of flowers.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Not only is this sentiment beautiful, but it is also true. No one gets a free pass to eternal life. Our souls are here to learn and the best teacher is adversity. We are a stubborn bunch. When we get distracted from this by living externally in another’s life, we have lost an opportunity that may not present again. Experiences that mold are unique to us in both their beauty and their challenges. Think back on the story of your life and try to see the connections where others may not. For me, I recall the moment I found out I was bringing a new life into the world, all of the days I spent at the ballet barre repeating the same movements over and over, the school meetings and events, moments of complete abandon while on stage, moments of complete constriction in my personal life, returning to school mid life, starting a new career and leaving all that I had known for twenty plus years to start anew. These are just some of the experiences that are the fabric of my life. Only in retrospect can I see that all of these moments created a thread of connection to the present. I have carried bits from each experience and have gently formed the whole that I am today.

 

“I will soothe you and heal you,

I will bring you roses.

I too have been covered with thorns.”

Rumi

 

It is essential to remind oneself that images splashed across social media pages are not a true reflection of this continuum.  Yes, they may reflect a moment of real joy in another’s life, but they leave out all of the struggle and pain that may have come before. One emotion cannot exist without the other. Happiness cannot be felt without an understanding of sadness, love without hate, companionship without loneliness and patience without anger. It is in the experience of one that we are able to recognize the other. If taken at face value, another’s moment of happiness can be honored for being just that, a moment. This should not bear any reflection on personal life work because their is no context to the moment.  No way to recognize the work that may have been done to achieve this state of happiness. People like to put their best foot forward and social media is the perfect platform for this type of behavior. I suggest that you live your life unfiltered and without a “best side” to photograph.  We are beautifully whole the way we are and no amount of online comparison with another will heal wounds that reflect a lack of self-love and acceptance. Therefore, as Goethe wrote, I choose to pick the golden ears that have been watered with my tears, tears that serve as a constant reminder of difficult and transformative experiences, beautiful and exhilarating life moments. I claim them all.