Peer pressure is a powerful thing. From a very young age, many feel the pull to fit in and be accepted into a group. There are many groups: geeks, jocks, hippies, nerds, outcasts, cheerleaders etc., being cool is not a prerequisite to feeling peer pressure. As one that moved freely between many different groups my entire life, I have had the unique opportunity to observe this pack mentality up close while at the same time being slightly removed from it. From a sociological perspective it is fascinating.

 

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”

Mark Twain

 

People generally like to feel accepted and understood.  Academics go out of their way to use big words, artists to appear creative and colorful and businessmen and women to sound strong and intelligent. What happens when faced with someone outside of this norm? Perhaps an educator that describes things in layman’s terms, an artist keeping a regular and organized schedule or a businessman or woman that shows sensitivity and human compassion?  With no reference for acting outside of stereotypical roles, this person is often looked upon as an anomaly. Anomalies make people uncomfortable, plain and simple. With no idea what to expect from someone, many will make less of an effort to interact simply because the social cues that are often present have been rejected.

 

“Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul.”

Walt Whitman

 

In my workplace, many are predictably liberal and colorful artists. Yes, there are a few exceptions to this rule, but not many. Is it possible that within a group’s desire to be unique, they become decidedly similar? I think so.  Daring to be different might be expressed as an interest in business practices, or timeliness. I have always been a textbook example of a right/left brain person. I have an intensely creative side that is expressed in multiple ways. I danced, played three instruments and now bake, teach ballet and write. Similarly, I have the reputation for being the organized business minded person in my family and work. I enjoy applying my creative mind to business ventures and seeing them to fruition. I revel in this aspect of my “differentness”

 

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

Mark Twain

 

This is not always received as one would think. While I can speak and write in simple terms, I am just as capable of producing intelligent thoughts and ideas as a well published academic. I simply like to make others feel comfortable and hate the distance a forced vocabulary creates. By the same token, heeding deadlines and writing business plans is often looked at among artists as rigid and lacking of creativity. I reject the notion that one has to be unstable or erratic to be a good artist. I have come across this idea in my many years as a dancer and always found it amusing. Conversely, in the library business people are much more project oriented. To creatively envision an idea or think out of the box can be excruciating among others that do not think this way. I just want to encourage my colleagues to have a little fun with the project.  Coming from me that is saying quite a bit.

 

“There is almost a sensual longing for communion with others who have a large vision. The immense fulfillment of the friendship between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality impossible to describe.”

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

Overtime I have begun to tire of the whole charade. I am who I am and have no need to classify myself as a part of a group, no matter how fringe that group may be. I talk to everyone regardless of where they stand in the social structure, understanding that I have something to learn from them all. I have said it before, people are fascinating. The way we migrate to one another and hold on for dear life in a display of herd mentality. Once a group of people are identified some mingle only with that group, creating a routine that is maintained indefinitely. Maybe this is why I have changed careers and moved so often in my life.  If I am not learning from the collective I am apart of, I feel stagnant and long for a new challenge and new interpersonal relationships. What is the point of it all if not for learning new things and new ways of being? The strange dichotomy in this is that I crave security and stability, the dual brain in all of its glory.

 

I have come to except that no matter where I go or what job I have, I will always feel a bit different and out of step.  Never really buying into the constructs of a vocation or location, I will always be disconnected in a sense, an observer looking in. My goal in life is to feel some degree of comfort and stability in the dichotomy. It is possible that this very challenge is my true interest and one of the reasons that I study mysticism as intently as I do. The constant conflict of experience and knowledge can be a powerful tool for spiritual work and I have much yet to learn. As my tea bag says today “Life is a flow of love, your participation is requested”.  I chose to participate even if from the outside looking in.