Broken Open
In between the spaces that we create in order to navigate this world, is an undefined area that is not often traveled. This space lives in between the physical, emotional and spiritual barriers that we build to exist in a comfortable way. I often find myself in this space in regards to many aspects of my life by choosing not to waffle too far in one direction or the other. This “gray area” can feel like a safe zone and once in this zone it becomes difficult to move pass. If I am never pressed to make decisions or take a stance, I am safe. Free from the blustery waters of confrontation.
Contrary to what I wish to believe, this space is not as calm as I perceive it to be. There is no free pass in this life. Life happens in the gray areas and quite often at that. I recently began to read Elizabeth Lesser’s book Broken Open for the second time and was astounded how much of it resonates with this concept. Her book beautifully touches on the idea that one must be broken open in every sense of the word before going through a phoenix process of rebirth and a claiming of the soul. No one escapes this process in life. In fact, I chuckled when Ms. Lesser stated “we are all terminal” meaning the only sure thing about life is that we all eventually have to leave this world, hopefully having learned a few lessons in the process.
“It is the acceptance of death that has finally allowed me to choose life.”
Elizabeth Lesser
In the study of mysticism, the space between can appear blurry with concepts giving way to loose ideas and temporary flirting with opinions and positions. Mystics are by nature more accepting of a plethora of philosophies and practices and this can make them seem uncommitted to the exploration of their faith. The truth is quite the contrary. It is in the questioning and the constant evaluation of experiences that mystics grow and become more confident in their practice. These very experiences that mystics thrive upon are one in the same that Elizabeth Lesser speaks to in her book. It often takes something that pushes one to the precipice of pain, grief or sadness to finally stretch beyond the middle ground. In these moments, all that is left is the soul unguarded. In these moments we are all laid bare before the Divine and the only way through is by opening the heart completely.
“Adversity is a natural part of being human. It is the height of arrogance to prescribe a moral code or health regime or spiritual practice as an amulet to keep things from falling apart. Things do fall apart. It is in their nature to do so. When we try to protect ourselves from the inevitability of change, we are not listening to the soul. We are listening to our fear of life and death, our lack of faith, our smaller ego’s will to prevail. To listen to your soul is to stop fighting with life–to stop fighting when things fall apart; when they don’t go our way, when we get sick, when we are betrayed or mistreated or misunderstood. To listen to the soul is to slow down, to feel deeply, to see ourselves clearly, to surrender to discomfort and uncertainty and to wait.”
Elizabeth Lesser
Part of the beauty of this book is the complete lack of pretense that Ms. Lesser displays, slowly peeling back the layers of her own broken open experience. She does this by sharing intimate details without sounding trite. She includes a number of stories of others who have been to the darkest areas of their soul and have successfully found the light once again. Most illuminating is that she creates a very clear case for the idea that once one has had a broken open experience they can remain in the space between the lightness and the dark, the in between, quite successfully. For Ms. Lesser, exploring the darker areas of her soul allowed her to freely blossom into the women that she was destined to be, before external pressures from family and society told her who she should be. The difference is great. We are not what others define us as, but rather we come into this world as unique souls prepared to go on a journey of life experiences. It is in the living that we begin to hide who we are in order to slip into a more comfortable skin. This will always be a temporary solution as the soul will not remain hidden for long.
“May you listen to the voice within the beat even when you are tired. When you feel yourself breaking down, may you break open instead. May every experience in life be a door that opens your heart, expands your understanding, and leads you to freedom. If you are weary, may you be aroused by passion and purpose. If you are blameful and bitter, may you be sweetened by hope and humor. If you are frightened, may you be emboldened by a big consciousness far wiser than your fear. If you are lonely, may you find love, may you find friendship. If you are lost, may you understand that we are all lost, and still we are guided—by Strange Angels and Sleeping Giants, by our better and kinder natures, by the vibrant voice within the beat. May you follow that voice, for This is the way—the hero’s journey, the life worth living, the reason we are here. ”
Elizabeth Lesser
I highly recommend this book as a source for contemplation, reflection and introspection. It has become a staple on my shelf of references as I continue on this journey and I utilize it as such often. Each time I pick it up I glean something new from her words. She is a great teacher and a learned soul of whom I have the utmost respect. She has done her life research and has more than a few lessons to share with those of us still sitting like “Bozo’s on the Bus”.