My writing may seem heavy at times; so much of human emotion is agitated and brought forth during times of struggle. A mind at complete rest is not always a questioning mind and it is in the questions that I am drawn by an insatiable curiosity. This may create the perception that I am followed by a permanent cloud of discontent, living in a constant state of melancholy. While I most certainly have my moments as everyone does, I am by nature an optimistic and joyful person. Much of this joy has come from many years of soul searching and survival after enduring hardships. It is in the joy that I found my salvation, my hope and my passion.

 

I am a firm believer in balance.  It is only in this balance that one can achieve an equilibrium that is conducive to a soulful life. Joy with sadness, love with apathy, energy with fatigue and passion with indifference.  Each emotion is tangible and necessary. As spiritual beings, we live and thrive only from a complete human experience. It is during the journey that we feel most engaged with self and only in the journey. Avoidance will never be a successful tactic to the discovery of self.

 

The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

 

In my view, joy is a destination that is earned. How can one know what it truly means to be filled with joy if not having had a dark night of the soul? It is in the deepest of the depths that one looks up, sees the light and chooses to embrace that light filled with both joy and love. It is a choice and one that has to be made daily.

 

Joy does not mean the absence of all other emotion. One can feel joyful yet have shades of sadness, fear or grief that dance on the edges. This is what makes this spiritual existence so nuanced and different for each person. For me, I can be joyful, laughing and playful while still harboring some fear about the outcome of this relaxed state. When allowing an emotion to take over, there is always a loss of control if only for a short time.  To live fully is to live on the precipice, on the edge of self and peer into areas of the soul that are less traveled. Of course we will feel a mix of emotions when doing so. It is the nature of the exercise.

 

“There can be no rebirth without a dark night of the soul, a total annihilation of all that you believed in and thought that you were.”

― Hazrat Inayat Khan

 

Finding joy is very simply making the conscience decision to live in that space where the light exists even when chased by the shadows. It is walking forward rather than back and loving fully rather than creating a barrier with fear. Joyful living is embracing everything that is good without catastrophizing the end result. We are all only given this moment, this day. Why spend precious time worrying about what may or may not come about? Joy beckons us with freedom. It says, “I darn you to live fully!” and playfully calls out to us each and every day. Listen for it, chose it and relish it. Be joyful.