Browsed by
Author: laviniachristine

What Does It Mean to Love Another?

What Does It Mean to Love Another?

One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII

I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as one loves certain obscure things,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries

the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,

and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose

from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you directly without problems or pride:

I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,

except in this form in which I am not nor are you,

so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,

so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

Pablo Neruda

 

It was not until I had my first child, my daughter, that I felt true unconditional love.  I subscribed to the idea of this type of love, but sadly my marriage was not representative of this ideal and even lacking in any semblance of kindness at times. Seeing my daughter look at me as if my eyes held many secrets, I was overcome with a deep and lasting love for this new and beautiful soul. In that moment, I realized that I would do anything to make her life easier and would provide comfort to her in all instances.  This same glorious experience was repeated after giving birth to my son three years later. Unconditional love is truly a powerful thing.

 

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

-Rumi

 

These days, the word “love” is used very superfluously and one begins to wonder what it means to really love another.  Is it a emotion, an action, a tangible experience or is it a combination of all of the above? Pablo Neruda speaks to this in the first stanza of his poem One Hundred Love Sonnets: XVII. He writes, “I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:I love you as one loves certain obscure things,secretly, between the shadow and the soul.”  These words represent how I experience unconditional love. I look beyond the typical and find myself connecting with something much more muted. The beauty of a rose or the feeling of fire are not paramount in my appraisal.  Love to me is best described as being “between the shadow and the soul.” The space deep within that can speak to another only a spiritual level. Between darkness and light rests the true self devoid of the masks used to disguise traits that are deemed less than desirable. When “seen” these are the parts of another that drive true unconditional love.

 

It is in the “seeing” of the other that one can say, Yes, I see the dusty corners of your soul and I still choose to show up each and every day and love you. That to me is representative of a greater love than just the physical. Love overlooks the bumpy and difficult road another may choose to travel and offers compassion and empathy during the journey. All will not always be well, that much is guaranteed. With that in mind, love is only true if extended during the most difficult of times.

 

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

— William Shakespeare

 

Finally, the line, “I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,except in this form in which I am not nor are you”  is beautifully stated. Unconditional love is in its truest sense a lack of separation from the beloved. It is an unspoken truth that both are a part of the same cloth, in tune with one another no matter the circumstance. I know no other way to love, and my children are well aware of this.  It takes quite a bit of upheaval to force me to lose sight of this truth. We as spiritual beings are nothing without the connections that bind us. Choosing to love another is one of the most intimate and soulful ways to forge these connections. At the end of my days, I want to be able to say that I loved deeply no matter the cost. That will have been a life well lived.

 

Dancing with Demons and Self Doubt

Dancing with Demons and Self Doubt

Have you ever had that feeling of hesitation, when you question your entire thought process and wonder what the hell you are doing?  I have these moments quite frequently. I struggle with self-doubt and find it difficult to trust decisions in which my wellbeing is at stake, ironic given that I consider myself an expert at “reading” other people. This has not transferred in any real tangible way to myself and I often find myself in the most uncomfortable of situations over and over again.  As the old adage says, we often miss what is right under our nose.

 

“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”

― Bertrand Russell

 

This may be a side effect of being one that is a constant state of information retrieval and analysis. I tend to always see conflict as a fault of my own. I wonder how I could have not seen or understood what was unfolding, ignoring all of the warning signs. I also wonder why I could not ease the conflict in a peaceful way. It is tough trusting others, hence the reason why I have so few close and intimate relationships. I don’t want to hurt anyone by something I do or say, that would be incredibly painful for me. You guessed it; I am a people pleaser of the highest sort and try to minimize any potential pain I might cause another. I risk assess most things and quite frankly have to ward against my inner dialogue constantly telling me to play it safe.

 

“If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.”

― René Descartes

 

A healthy level of doubt is prudent when seeking truths and testing theories. In mysticism, questioning is an important part of the spiritual journey. The only truth being that the answer will always be found in the questions. The area in which doubt can become insidious is with self. Self-doubt can lead to a lack of confidence and a constant hesitation when making important decisions. How can one possibly risk assess an entire life? Mistakes will be made, people will get hurt and goals will not be met. It is the nature of living a full life.

 

In so far as my study of mysticism, I have found a healthy level of doubt to be useful.  It is very rare that I doubt the bigger unknowns of the universe; I have said before that I possess a comfort with sitting in this space of the unknown, not having to have all the answers.  When I do find something that makes me take pause, I spend a bit more time ruminating over it.  Introspection is one mechanism in which I visit doubt and come to some resolution within.  It is rarely an outward experience or one that I seek counsel for.  It is most often internal and very much my own exploration of information.

 

“Truly embracing the fragility and tensions of life…brings with it the possibility of true joy.”

― Peter Rollins

 

When experiencing any measure of doubt, try not to let that color your view of the outcome. Doubt is our internal checks and balance system and one that should not be ignored.  Doubt does not mean that you have ventured down the wrong path or chosen the wrong door. It simply means that you must create space to explore the reasons and fears behind your doubt.  This self-study may lead to some painful truths.  You may even discover that you alone have taken ownership of a number of fears and misgivings that have no merit in actuality. This realization is a lesson in of itself. Hear it, trust your intuition and keep moving. All will be known in due time and all will be as it should.

 

The Smiling Forehead and Inner Light

The Smiling Forehead and Inner Light

 

As I sat reading last night, I came across a phrase that jumped off the page as they sometimes do. It was in a book titled Thinking Like the Universe by Pir Vilayat Inayat Kahn and a reference to light and a Sufi smiling forehead that caught my attention. Light being the bridge between what is known and unknown and a smiling forehead being this same “light” emanating outward. A complete manifestation of  energy reflecting out into the world with a calm and loving aura. Glorious to envision and a rarity to see and experience.

 

Light has always been a close friend of mine.  When I close my eyes I often see flashes of light that appear like a laser light show behind my eyelids. As a young adult I practiced shielding myself with light when I was fearful and often sent light to others in need of support. I am also one that can slip in and out of that space between my inner light and the outer world with a certain level of ease.  This never requires meditation or a quieting of the mind and strangely I can create this shift at will. This movement between two energetic spaces has confused me in the past. With no reference to what was happening I felt odd and out of step, a very disorientating feeling.

 

“It is tragic how few people ever ‘possess their souls’ before they die… Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation…”

-Oscar Wilde

 

As I have become more familiar with this shift, I have come to enjoy the moments of solitude when I slip effortlessly into this realm that has the vibration of pure and unconditional love. After reading about the Sufi smiling forehead it became clear that my practice moving forward should include emanating this light and energy outward rather than containing it internally. This will certainly be difficult to master and I suspect representative of a lifetime of work in culmination. As an introspective and private person, I am aware that I may appear closed off to the outside world at times. This is a physical manifestation of deep thinking rather than aloofness. I often struggle with this dichotomy, the way I wish to project self out to the world and the way I actually do.  

 

“Below what we think we are, we are something else,

we are almost anything”.

D.H.Lawrence

 

One of my greatest wishes is to be an open and loving vessel to all that I encounter, requiring me to put down my protective walls and let my “smiling forehead” be seen. With people that I am completely comfortable with I am more willing to share this inner light without reservation. It is only in times of fear, confusion or anxiety that I hold my light close as a mother would a child. During moments when I interact and dance with this light, it is pure ecstasy. My external self becomes nonexistent and for just that moment I am free, weightless and shining brightly. The heat is warming but does not burn and the air is reminiscent of a deep and fulfilling sigh.

 

As I have journeyed down this path of mysticism, I find myself slipping into this space more often and not wanting to leave. Outside distractions are just that, distractions. I find the trivialities of life a nuisance and want nothing more than to find a way to allow myself to dance on the boundaries of these two spaces freely and without hesitation. For this reason it has become more important to find a way to share this experience with those around me rather than risk becoming too egocentric  or lost in the practice. I am hopeful that with practice, my “smiling forehead” will enter a room before me, filling the space with light and creating an environment of pure love and joyful acceptance.

 

You are Oceanic

You are Oceanic

You are Oceanic

All she wanted

was to find a place to stretch her bones.

A place to lengthen her smiles

and spread her hair.

A place where her legs could walk

without cutting and bruising.

A place unchained.

She was born out of ocean breath.

I reminded her;

‘Stop pouring so much of yourself

into hearts that have no room

for themselves.

Do not thin yourself.

Be vast.

You do not bring the ocean to a river’.

Tapiwa Mugabe

 

Have you ever had the urge to just walk out of wherever you may be and “stretch your bones”? I certainly have had to restrain myself from doing so on more than one occasion. A part of me is always hearing the call of the unknown, urging me to let go of the responsibilities that I have shouldered over the years. I have named these urges my Thelma and Louise moments. While I have no intention of driving off a cliff per the film, I do harbor a strong desire to run away with the gypsies on most days.

 

As a woman and an empath, I sometimes get caught in the cycle of caring for others while forgetting to care for myself. I find this part of my personality difficult to manage and even more difficult to understand. Having given far too many years to others that did not value me in any meaningful way, the line from Tapiwa Mugabe’s poem, “Stop pouring so much of yourself into hearts that have no room” speaks to me. I see that my willingness to care deeply for others never came with an expectation of reciprocal treatment, quite the contrary. My motto in life has always been to lead by example with the hopes that I inspire those I care about in some small way. By doing so, I aim to instill a healthy curiosity leading to exploration of deeper and more meaningful truths.

 

After many years of living in this way, I have come to realize that no matter how many good intentions I have, I cannot force anyone to hold the precept of love in their heart. If their heart has no room, if they are unable to see the value in this end, it becomes an action of diminishing returns.  Rather, I choose to believe in the possibility of being “unchained”, to live as if I were an ocean moving freely with the tides, predictable in my unpredictability. I wish to not worry so much about others souls with a knowing that only they have the ability to find themselves. This is not my responsibility and it never was. I can continue to be the best example I am capable of, but must let go of the end result with some grace and a belief that all will be well.

 

The gentle rhythm of the tides, holding within a fierce strength is representative of the ebb and flow of my inner self, my soul. To love another requires a give and take, a push and pull, a dance between moments of surrender and strength. At times I lead and at other times I allow the tides to take me where they will. It is in this surrender that I always find my voice, my strength. Trusting another to take the lead, becoming “unchained” from the illusions of love and not being fearful of the “cutting and bruising” that will inevitably happen, as it always will in the tides of a relationship, allows for a sense of peaceful acceptance.  As long as I am seen and valued the rest is unimportant and not worth the worry. I am indeed an ocean: deep, thoughtful, intense, blissful, gentle, beautiful, strong, mysterious and so many other things. If I value myself first, I can than reveal the deep and beautiful oceans of my soul and know that I am free to love and be loved without restriction and unchained. There is nothing more mesmerizing than free flowing water.

 

She Let Go

She Let Go

 

She Let Go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.  She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go.  She let go of all of the memories that held her back.  She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

Ernest Holmes/Rev. Safire Rose

 

 

Trust is a funny thing. It can only be built over many years, trials and tribulations. Especially for someone like myself that does not trust anything or anyone easily. The thought of letting go and just moving can be terrifying for me.  I have grown to understand that for me, fear is the best indicator of what I should be embracing and moving towards. To do this, I have to let go of expectations, perfectionism and self criticism by stepping into my fears.  This blog has been one of the ways in which I have faced my fears head on, by publishing my most intimate thoughts.  Even so, I certainly have other areas of my life that have not quite seen this commitment to fearless living realized. Everyone has some things that they hold close to their chest and I am no different in this way.

When I am not sure I have the courage to let go for myself, I think about my daughter and what I would like to leave as a legacy. I don’t want her to be afraid of the unknown, I want her to jump into life even with all of its uncertainty and self doubt, to live without hesitation and worry. As the poem reads above, I want her to “…let go of the fear…let go of the judgments….let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.” I wish all of this for her and more. She is already much more fearless than myself and I take pride in the fact that she can breathe so freely into her life with such joy and passion.

In my view, words are cheap and teaching by example is the only authentic way that I know how to parent. My hope is that even when I fall short, miss the mark and stumble, my daughter will see me getting back up and trying again and again.  Recommitting to just letting go and living my life to its fullest potential. I hope she is witness to more moments in which I allow myself to move without hesitation and pronouncement. Times in which I stop the constant risk assessment and discover, “There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.”

It is in these instances, when fear is replaced with a light and effortless joy, that I have arrived where I was meant to be all along. I arrive with a smile on my face, the wind in my hair and the possibilities shining in front of me. Leaving doubt far behind, I just let go.

Ignorant Before the Heavens of My Life

Ignorant Before the Heavens of My Life

 

Ignorant before the heavens of my life,

I stand and gaze in wonder. Oh the vastness

of the stars. Their rising and descent. How still.

As if I didn’t exist. Do I have any

share in this? Have I somehow dispensed with

their pure effect? Does my blood’s ebb and flow

change with their changes? Let me put aside

every desire, every relationship

except this one, so that my heart grows used to

its farthest spaces. Better that it live

fully aware, in the terror of its stars, than

as if protected, soothed by what is near.

by Rainer Maria Rilke

 

Have you ever missed a place so much that your heart aches? I have missed a place such as this my entire life. How is this possible?  I do not know. I wish I understood, but I don’t. I long for this place yet cannot even describe it, a different dimension filled with love and light. I have no idea what this other is, but I wish to be there. As Rilke writes, “Ignorant before the heavens of my life, I stand and gaze in wonder. Oh the vastness of the stars.” I see and feel this vastness everyday. It blinds me with its purity and beckons with unconditional love.

 

I am not well suited for this world; it feels foreign and heavy to me. The day-to-day grind of life along with meaningless small talk and the incessant desire for more. I cannot seem to prescribe to this paradigm, even though I have tried on numerous occasions. My love for my family sustains me, but does not quench a constant thirst for this other. It is a buzzing that never ceases. I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. It could be that everyone feels this way to some degree and my ultra sensitivity amplifies it. I only know my experience and how it feels to walk in my shoes. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

This has nothing to do with psychology mumbo jumbo or my personality type. This is much greater than that. It is metaphysical, indefinable and boundless. It feels like the earth’s core; hot, full of energy and dangerously intense. I feel this intensity inside all the while projecting a calm and serene demeanor. It is an untruth, yet a protective one, allowing me to move through my day without becoming completely disillusioned. I am very much unseen but often end up spending most of my time “seeing” other people. The naked truth of this sight can be sobering. I have this other voice in my mind constantly taunting me, calling out to me when all I want to do is live my life. It teases me, telling me, “No, this is not you. This is not living.”

 

In moments such as these I read Rilke’s last line, “Better that it live fully aware, in the terror of its stars, than as if protected, soothed by what is near.” I am fully aware and live in a state of unrest knowing that this other is too vast and beautiful to comprehend. I have chosen to sit in this space rather than be soothed by what is near. Comfort will never be enough and I have learned to accept this even when it is lonely. I find solace in writing, people that understand the jagged pieces of my soul and the light. I feel it nearby at all times and for this I am grateful. In due time I will come home to this other and all will be right, but first I must live this life fully. I must learn the lessons meant for me and love as much as my tentative heart will allow. It is only in the living that I will be released back to where I am from…home.

 

Be Joyful

Be Joyful

My writing may seem heavy at times; so much of human emotion is agitated and brought forth during times of struggle. A mind at complete rest is not always a questioning mind and it is in the questions that I am drawn by an insatiable curiosity. This may create the perception that I am followed by a permanent cloud of discontent, living in a constant state of melancholy. While I most certainly have my moments as everyone does, I am by nature an optimistic and joyful person. Much of this joy has come from many years of soul searching and survival after enduring hardships. It is in the joy that I found my salvation, my hope and my passion.

 

I am a firm believer in balance.  It is only in this balance that one can achieve an equilibrium that is conducive to a soulful life. Joy with sadness, love with apathy, energy with fatigue and passion with indifference.  Each emotion is tangible and necessary. As spiritual beings, we live and thrive only from a complete human experience. It is during the journey that we feel most engaged with self and only in the journey. Avoidance will never be a successful tactic to the discovery of self.

 

The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

 

In my view, joy is a destination that is earned. How can one know what it truly means to be filled with joy if not having had a dark night of the soul? It is in the deepest of the depths that one looks up, sees the light and chooses to embrace that light filled with both joy and love. It is a choice and one that has to be made daily.

 

Joy does not mean the absence of all other emotion. One can feel joyful yet have shades of sadness, fear or grief that dance on the edges. This is what makes this spiritual existence so nuanced and different for each person. For me, I can be joyful, laughing and playful while still harboring some fear about the outcome of this relaxed state. When allowing an emotion to take over, there is always a loss of control if only for a short time.  To live fully is to live on the precipice, on the edge of self and peer into areas of the soul that are less traveled. Of course we will feel a mix of emotions when doing so. It is the nature of the exercise.

 

“There can be no rebirth without a dark night of the soul, a total annihilation of all that you believed in and thought that you were.”

― Hazrat Inayat Khan

 

Finding joy is very simply making the conscience decision to live in that space where the light exists even when chased by the shadows. It is walking forward rather than back and loving fully rather than creating a barrier with fear. Joyful living is embracing everything that is good without catastrophizing the end result. We are all only given this moment, this day. Why spend precious time worrying about what may or may not come about? Joy beckons us with freedom. It says, “I darn you to live fully!” and playfully calls out to us each and every day. Listen for it, chose it and relish it. Be joyful.

 

The Sun and The Moon A Dance of Opposition

The Sun and The Moon A Dance of Opposition

 

Sun and Moon

 

A strong man, a fair woman

Bound fast in love,

Parted by ordered heaven,

Punishment prove

 

He suffers gnawing fires:

She in her frost

Beams in his sight, but dies

When he seems lost.

 

Not till the poles are joined

Shall the retreat

Of fierce brother from lost sister

End, and they meet.

 

Jay Macpherson

 

Poetry often finds the word that we cannot, that is why I have such an affinity for it.  As an internal thinker, I have so many thoughts in my head at one time; I often stumble over my words when speaking. People that know me have heard the frequent pause when I am trying to gather the words from that space in my mind. It shows on my face, a thinking face. This particular poem is representative of all that is on my mind at the moment.

 

As one that has been silently drawn by the phases of the moon, I see myself in this story. Everything and everyone exists in interconnectivity with another. Just as positive and negative charges attract so is it in nature. It might be a colleague that is completely different from self or a child that is difficult to understand being of an opposite personality type and communication style. It may be a lover that elicits an intense attraction unlike any other, a pleasing joining of two pieces to a puzzle. Life is always a balance of oppositions.

 

If you will find me not within you, you will never find me. For I have been with you, from the beginning of me.”

-Rumi

 

Embrace the interplay between the sun and the moon, the water and the earth, the sky and the stars. One cannot exist without the other and even if we think we can walk this earth independently, unsupported by this push and pull, we need this tension to grow and thrive. Seek out opposition, and most importantly search for the complexity and mirror in these instances. You may learn something about yourself along the way and as Mr. Macpherson states so beautifully, “Not until the poles are joined, Shall the retreat of fierce brother from lost sister End, and they meet.”

Know Thyself

Know Thyself

 

Know Thy Self

A person who knows not

And knows not that they know not

Is foolish – disregard them

A person who knows not

And knows that they know not

Is simple – teach them

A person who knows not

And believes that they know

Is dangerous – avoid them

A person who knows

And knows not that they know

Is asleep – awaken them

A person who knows

And knows that they know

Is wise – follow them

All of these persons reside in you

Know Thy Self

And to Maat be true *A modern adaptation of an ancient proverb (From “Nile Valley Contributions To Civilization, Exploding The Myth, Vol. 1” by Anthony T. Browder, p. opposite Contents.)

 

The Greek phrase, “know thyself” or γνῶθι σεαυτόν rings true even after thousands of years. It is in the simplicity of the phrase that the beauty resides.  No need for verbose language to get this point across, the ancient Greeks may have been on to something. Just as we have the propensity to make things more complicated than they are, this phrase very quickly quiets the noise with the idea that the answers we seek are within. No vision quests, walkabouts or midlife crises will assist with this discovery.  A deep knowing is earned only by introspection and spiritual questioning which can be accomplished from any zip code, in any life situation and at any age.

 

Why then are so many failing to do the work required to know thyself?  As one that has a constant curiosity about others and the way in which they navigate the world, I find that many seem lost.  By this I mean they have not done the personal work of self examination. This apparent lack of interest in introspection finds many still searching outside of themselves for answers.  I have never professed to know much of anything, but what I do know is that I have no desire to walk the path with someone that is still looking externally for validation and comfort.

 

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”

― Lao Tzu

 

It therefore becomes difficult to find a tribe, a soul mate or person at the same vibration as myself.  I have no interest in a parent child or student teacher relationship; I am looking for someone in the same place as myself, a partner that can travel the road beside me rather than before me or behind.  Granted I am an odd nut. I have been seeking answers to the deeper questions since elementary school.  Yes, I have lived a colorful life and in doing so have made many discoveries along the way, yet I have so much more room to grow. I have learned that a prerequisite to knowing self lies with the understanding that knowing is not knowing. In my view this is the first step in a long and thoughtful journey.  It takes a humble soul to stand before the world and recognize that everything is not as it seems. The world as we know it is just external circumstance for a larger lesson. The tools of the lesson vary from person to person, but I suspect we all follow a similar syllabus in the end.

 

“The one great art is that of making a complete human being of oneself.”

― G.I. Gurdjieff

 
How does one go about this work?  I believe the path varies, the key point being in the attempt.  We are all fallible and none of us are perfect.  The work is in the commitment to continually walk the spiritual path. This may look different for each person, but the end result should be the same. I would even argue that one must work on knowing self before giving themselves to another. It is a symbiotic relationship and when approached with some intention, a beautiful one.

If Only I Could Fly

If Only I Could Fly

I am a professional sky watcher. It is one of the few times I can be seen just standing still, looking up with a smile on my face. I am like a joyful child when I see a skyscape that is breathtaking and have been this way for as long as I can remember. I was definitely the child that would roll down the grassy hill and once at the bottom stare at the sky, completely enthralled with the beauty of it all. I was also known to lie in a field of dandelions making dandelion chains all the while watching the clouds dance and guessing the shapes as they passed by. As a child of the seventies this may sound familiar, possessing a bohemian sensibility retrospect of that generation. For me, this obsession has withstood the test of time only further cementing my passion for the sky.

 

Sky watching has an expansive feeling to it. When looking up, one gets a sense of the vastness of our world, this planet and the universe. Nothing puts things in perspective more quickly than a knowing of natural order.  We are everything, yet we are nothing. Our energy is a part of all that we see, the spirit is free, unrestricted and boundless. Yet this world, with its limitations, obligations and gravity weighs us done in many ways.

 

There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky; there is one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul.

~Victor Hugo

 

As a young girl, I used to dream about flying up to the top of a mountain just to be closer to the sky, the moon, the sun and the stars.  It was a feeling of utter weightlessness, a disconnection from the gravity of the ground. I would stretch and stand up on my toes reaching for the sky and in my dream could feel myself touching this other dimension. It was the most peaceful feeling I can recall. As silly as it may sound, I often think about what it would feel like to be a bird, to be able to fly in the wind, above the clouds. I envy that experience, but strangely enough I do not enjoy being in planes. That feels constricted to me.

 

The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Being up high also acts as a visual representation of a longer journey and a metaphor for overcoming difficulties along the way. Once at the top of a large hill and upon looking down, the sense of accomplishment is palpable.  The distance is so massive, so huge that it is difficult not to feel strong and capable given where the journey began below. Maybe this is why people take this to extremes by climbing large mountains. Thankfully, I have a knowing that I do not need to climb the tallest mountain in order to discover the greatest truth, it is with me all along.

 

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

~e.e. cummings

 

From a spiritual perspective, nature has a way of revealing the interconnectivity of the spirit world to all else. Think Pocahontas and the “Colors of the Wind” song. It is tangible when energies connect. I have been known to cry when hiking and on the same token, laugh. My emotions brew right at the surface and react to my surroundings. Nature can be viewed as a pathway to experiential mysticism, and in my case I have found this to be true. Walking, watching the sky, listening to the waves hit the beach and feeling the breeze on my face are all ways in which I feel spirit. It is the most expansive and loving feeling while at the same time protective and embracing. I find it very difficult to find words that do this experience justice. Maybe that it the whole point. I have no need to put words to this feeling, it just is. Find your form of sky watching.  Call upon it when in need of peace, tranquility and most importantly when feeling a disconnect from spirit. Take some time to remember where you stand in relation to all else, it is really quite remarkable.