It is absolutely shocking how prominent materialism has become today. New phones, fancy cars, expensive jewelry, it is never enough. We think we need more money so that we can retire in good stead, take exciting vacations, hold lavish life celebrations and live in huge homes. This time of year these tendencies are demonstrated in a most revealing way. Watching the season unfold becomes a case study in reckless spending with many hoping for momentary satisfaction. It is an addiction to a feeling that will never be a substitute for real love.

I am one that avoids shopping this time of year if at all possible.  Large crowds are tenuous given that I often feel the agitation of people around me, a transfer of energy that I try to avoid if at all possible. If one would happen upon me in a large department store or even a busy grocery store, you would find me with headphones in, listening to music and trying to tune out the erratic energetic flow of the space. I always feel terrible about this.  It makes me appear unapproachable and that is something that I always strive to avoid. I still smile at people as they pass and try to look engaged to the best of my abilities, but I simply cannot absorb others restless energy and bring it home.

 

Do not let your “eye” be drawn by the false “beacon lamps” —of wealth, or position, or fame, or possessions. Be vigilant over your will and desires, for these are the corrupt forces that dwell within, and keep you from living free.                               

John of the Cross                            

 

What is it that draws people out on mass to spend money that they do not have, giving gifts to others that they do not need? I am not entirely sure. Giving of myself is a pleasant act that leaves me feeling pleased and happy for the recipient.  Giving by itself is not a bad thing.  The problem lies in the manufactured timing of the giving.  Would it not be much more meaningful to give a small card, or flowers to a loved one just because?  Without the prompts of consumerism and the market economy, a gift freely given is just that, a gift.                    

 

Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.                           

Mark Twain                            

 

For that matter, a gift does not have to be material at all. I always tell my children when asked what I want for Christmas, that all I require is time.  Spend some time with me, unscheduled by the holiday calendar.  That is the way to my heart.  Nothing that can be bought in a store will ever compare. Time spent with a loved one is something that the market economy has no control over.  It cannot dictate the timing or volume of this type of gift, and that is frustrating to the business community.  Hence the complete onslaught of marketing prompting people to spend with complete and utter abandon.

 

“You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness.”

Mitch Albom

 

What would happen if we collectively rejected this idea of gifting?  What if everyone simply said, “No”, I will not be maxing out my credit cards this season?  We are not responsible for the health of the markets per our spending habits this time of year.  That is a guilt trip of the worst sort and one that is irresponsible.  This year, try to tone down excessive spending.  Cherish the time spent with those you love, be it a nice walk, time doing a puzzle, playing a board game or even just sitting talking (gasp!).  All things that have little cost but result in big returns.  You will find your stress levels will lower and maybe, just maybe, you will find some peace in this season of giving.